The day after his “Reggie Bush ran like he was chasing that bucket of chicken” remark on Fox went viral, Terry Bradshaw, like any right-minded individual in such a predicament, felt remorse.
He then proceeded to cover it up with perhaps the biggest spin job of all time.
I mean, this couldn’t possibly be fishier if Howie Long was running after a bucket of Long John Silver’s.
First off, his reaction: “I don’t know how to react, except to apologize for something I didn’t know I said.”
As Dolphins running back Reggie Bush takes it to the house, TB says:
“Look at this, Jimmy, like he was chasing that bucket of chicken that the wind was blowing the other day.”
You could hear Bradshaw clearly speaking in the direction of “Fox NFL Sunday” colleague Jimmy Johnson, asking him to check out the video of Bush running like, well, whatever the hell he just said.
Here’s his mea culpa – are you ready for this? Bradshaw claims he didn’t realize that, while he was talking to Johnson, he said the word “he,” which, if an NFL player is being shown on the screen, viewers would see the player and hear Bradshaw say “he” and put two and two together.
Not so, he insists – I’m sorry; not so, Bradshaw insists.
Bradshaw meant to use the word “you” in that controversial sentence, as opposed to the word “he.”
You know, so it could sound even more demeaning to African-Americans.
“Look at this, Jimmy, like you was chasing that bucket of chicken that the wind was blowing the other day.”
Way to lay an egg there, Chicken Little.
Had Bradshaw originally said on the air, “… like he were chasing that bucket of chicken…”, then it might be believable.
But let’s get to the meat and potatoes of why Bradshaw really said what he said.
“His big thing is chicken,” he said on Monday. “Kentucky Fried Chicken. He won’t share it with anybody.”
Sorry, I’m not buying what he’s selling here – even if he throws in an order of the Colonel’s Crispy Strips.
And I know I’m not alone in being skeptical about Bradshaw’s explanation.
Ask the two African-Americans on the set – Curt Menefee and Michael Strahan – if they accept that cole slaw from TB. You mean to tell me, 24 hours after their obvious shocked responses, all suddenly happens to be well because it’s a bit revolving around one of the other hosts on the set?
“I’ve been in this business way too long, and am way too smart to make that kind of slip.”
Bradshaw started his vaunted broadcasting career immediately after he retired from the NFL in 1983. Yes, 1983, the same year, as I previously wrote, that Howard Cosell made those comments about Alvin Garrett. “That little monkey gets loose, doesn’t he?”
I don’t recall Cosell going to the media that Tuesday, explaining that he usually frequents the Bronx Zoo with Don Meredith.
You mean to tell me you were just starting out in sports broadcasting in 1983, Terry, and you were not watching “Monday Night Football” like millions of people did back then?
Nor do you remember what Don Imus said on his old Westwood One/MSNBC radio simulcast – the one you’ve appeared on several times.
And now you’re going to orchestrate this whole obsession that Jimmy Johnson has with fried chicken, and even have Curt Menefee as well as a couple of network spokespeople (“his entire commentary was directed towards Jimmy Johnson”; “his comment was directed at a studio mate and no one else”) on the take?
Maybe Jimmy does chow down on a four-piece bucket every Sunday. I mean, I’m not there, so I wouldn’t know. But I would like to know the location of the Kentucky Fried Chicken that Fox has been ordering from (at 9 AM in the morning local time, mind you) and asking for the “JJ Special”.
“I’ve been upset today,” said Bradshaw on Monday.
As he should be.
“I don’t think like that. I think strictly about what’s happening on the field.”
Was that not Reggie Bush on the field in a highlight that played underneath Terry’s chicken analogy?
“It’s not me. I’m shocked.”
I’m shocked, Terry, that you would go to great lengths to cover up this slip of the tongue with such a bizarre story – which, again, could be true… but given the course of events, sounds a bit contrived.
“I can’t believe I said it.”
Loser loser chicken dinner.