As you know, the CBS Sports Radio Network doesn’t launch fulltime for another six weeks or so. Until then, CBS Sports talent such as Boomer Esiason (“The NFL Today”) are lending their voices and opinions to a daily feature called “The CBS Sports Radio Minute.”
Also among those participating in this venture is Doug Gottlieb, who will be hosting a daily afternoon drive show on CBSSR starting January 2.
Among the topics of his several minutes of minutiae on Tuesday was the rumors circulating that embattled Arkansas Razorbacks coach Bobby Petrino – you might remember him from a little motorcycle mishap with a mistress, Jessica Dorrell – is the favorite to become the new head coach for Auburn’s football program.
“Bobby Petrino isn’t hireable,” Gottlieb argues. “It’s not because he cheated on his wife with somebody else’s fiancee; it isn’t because he lied to Louisville about meeting with Auburn back in the day when he was Louisville head coach; it isn’t because he left the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of his first year by leaving notes in the players’ locker in the middle of the night; not because he lied to the cops in Fayetteville, or to his boss at Arkansas. It’s because he hired his side dime (Jessica Dorrell) as recruiting coordinator and violated state and federal hiring laws.
“Bobby Petrino is about as hireable now,” Gottlieb concludes, “as R. Kelly is as a chaperone at a junior high dance.”
Whoa, was that Doug Gottlieb or Dennis Miller with a “CBS Sports Radio Minute”?
Gottlieb obviously made a strong, detailed argument as to why Petrino is damaged goods for Auburn’s sideline. But at the same time, he also chose to exhibit his comedic wit (“side dime” – hilarious!). He also has a tendency to work in topical cliches into his sixty-second soliloquys. For example, in another minute on Tuesday on the frontrunners in the Heisman Trophy race, the underlying theme was, “the Mayans.” He also took a page out of the same “the world is ending on December 21” playbook in a “sports radio minute” last week.
It has gotten to the point that the hosts on CBS Radio’s own sports talk stations are starting to dislike the guy. For example, Philadelphia’s late midday/afternoon drive duo of Anthony Gargano and Glen Macnow on 94 WIP have started a new unofficial feature on their show, once the Gottlieb-voiced “CBS Sports Radio Minutes” start rolling in at 3 PM: an immediate one-minute rebuttal of Gottlieb’s piece by the WIP hosts (Macnow mostly) explaining to listeners that what they just heard was excruciatingly awful on so many levels.
And in New York, WFAN’s Mike Francesa (or a reasonable facsimile) had a bone to pick with Doug.
If Doug Gottlieb is going to go Doug Stanhope during his one-minute rants, he should toe the line of caution: In the past, some have made comparisons to controversial people in making a point. Four years ago, in a column for ESPN’s now-defunct “Page 2,” Jemele Hill likened being a fan of the Boston Celtics to “saying Hitler was a victim”; she would be suspended for her choice of words and later issue an apology.
Next time on the CBS Sports Radio Minute, Doug Gottlieb might tell us that Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid should not consider starting Michael Vick as his quarterback if he recovers from a concussion, because the way the season has turned out, Reid doesn’t have a dog in this fight.